So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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