Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
