Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
