I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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