And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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