Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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