He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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