Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
