can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
