fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
