I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
