White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm at about main and main street
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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