they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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