the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Drake has all the answers
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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