"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
