oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize