i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
