did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
