She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
