i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
