She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize