hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
