i can't believe i had my finger in that
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.