Got a toothbrush?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her