If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...