Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM