pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
