oh god the rape fog is back!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
