Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize