did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
