Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
