I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
