ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
