Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The air taste purple.
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