Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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