last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
