i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
