yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
