hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
