I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
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im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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