Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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