that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
