I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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