Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
