Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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