I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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