Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
