So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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