literally had 100 drinks last night.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
