the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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