Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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