We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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