May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
