VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
