Nicole vs. Life
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I will pee on everything he values.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
