you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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