You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
