Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Oh god it's open bar.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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