6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
