we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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