if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I FOUND THE LEGS
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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