We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize