Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
