I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
