Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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