found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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