some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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