I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
