"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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