My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
